


The Stars Lean in a Little Closer

by peacefulboo



Series: Heart's at the Wheel [4]
Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: F/M, Heart's Verse, alternate POV
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-13
Updated: 2019-05-02
Packaged: 2019-06-09 23:28:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,331
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15278559
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peacefulboo/pseuds/peacefulboo
Summary: Non-chronological extra scenes from Scott's POV from theHeart's at the Wheel'verse.First up, Patch and Scott go out for a drink.





	1. Patch and Scott go out for a drink

**Author's Note:**

> Hey all, this is where I'm gonna post short scenes from Scott's pov during or around various parts of My Heart's at the Wheel Now, and probably during the yet to be named sequel. How many and what scenes are also yet to be determined, but this was definitely one that I got asked for a few times, so I hope y'all enjoy it. Let me know what you think, yeah?

Scott shrugs into his jacket and makes sure his gloves are in his pocket before leaning over to kiss Kaela on her head and Tess on her cheek in goodbye. He watches as Patch presses a firm kiss to Marie’s mouth and then cheek, but can’t hear the low words they exchange from where he’s standing. 

He’s hit with a strong sense of longing as he watches the uncomplicated, affectionate manner in which they interact with each other. 

If he were going out for a drink with anyone else he’d probably head to Molly’s but it’s Patch and it seems like he wants to have a more serious conversation than is appropriate for his usual haunt, where everyone knows him and they’re more likely to get interrupted, so he drives them to a low key bar that doesn’t even seem to have an actual name about a mile from Tessa’s house. 

The place isn’t empty but there are plenty of seats at the bar and they’re served their drinks quickly, a simple local lager for him and a scotch for Patrice, while Patrice tells him more about a junior team they’ve been working with who shows so much promise, but are having trouble keeping their emotions in check. 

“He is brilliant on skates, probably better than her, but he’s hot headed and insensitive with her at times. He rattles her in those moments and she shuts down. With the rest of the world she is all poise and grace, unshakeable. With him? Well, he gets to her. We have them seeing Stephanie but I’m afraid it won’t be enough.” Patch shrugs with a sigh and looks to Scott like he might have some clue.

“The best thing my aunt, and then Suzanne and Paul, did for our partnership on the ice was drill into me how I was responsible for protecting and taking care of Tessa. It was probably unfair and even a little sexist, she’s so capable and was even then, but it gave me a focus and a reason to hold back when all I wanted to do some days was shake her and scream at her. Especially because those moments and impulses had nothing to do with Tessa. She wouldn’t have deserved it. Ever. It was all me,” he takes a drink and tries to remember the exact methods Paul, in particular, had used. 

“Now you do it off the ice too, yes?” Patch says as he takes a sip of his drink with eyebrows raised. 

Scott doesn’t respond right away. The truth is, of course, yes. He takes care of Tessa off the ice now. More than he ever did in Waterloo, or Canton after that. He spends most of his evenings and a lot of his nights with her, and honestly wouldn’t mind spending most of his days with her. He gets anxious when he hasn’t seen her and Kaela for more than 24 hours. He wonders if she’s okay or if she’s overwhelmed. He wonders if she’s eaten well or gotten enough sleep. His arms feel empty and his heart feels heavy. And it’s gotten to the point where taking care of her is almost a selfish endeavor. By taking care of her, of them, he’s taking care of himself. 

“When she lets me,” he agrees after a bit. 

“Because you love her,” Patrice states as he stares ahead at the bottles of liquor behind the bar, giving Scott some semblance of privacy as he takes in his words. 

Because he loves her. 

Scott has loved Tessa, one way or another, for almost two decades. At first he loved to impress her, and then he loved to skate with her, and always he loved, god he loved, to make her laugh. He has loved to see her blush, and he’s loved to talk her down when she’s anxious, and he’s loved to tease the shit out of her anytime she had a crush on another boy. He loved her as a child and he loved her as a teenager. He’s loved her when they’ve succeeded and he’s loved her when they failed. 

But now he loves her as a woman. As a mother. As someone who he wants to partner with in every aspect of his life and he looks at her and all he wants is the best for her. He wants to make her life easier where it needs to be easier and challenge her when she needs to be pushed. 

“Because I love her,” he agrees on an exhale as he turns his head toward Patch and gives him a tired smile. 

“And the baby?” 

Scott can feel his smile widen when he pictures Kaela. “She’s the best,” is what he chooses to say, but Patch doesn’t let him get away with it. 

“You love her, too.”

“More than I should, probably,” he admits. 

“Because you love her mother, or because you love her?” Patch asks, curiosity and some concern in his eyes. 

Scott’s taken aback a bit by the question. He hasn’t given it much thought, and honestly at this point Tessa and Kaela go hand in hand. His love for Kaela is absolutely wrapped up in his love for Tessa. But if something were to happen to Tessa and there was just her baby girl...yeah he can’t go down that path right now. But it leads him to some semblance of an answer. 

“Both. But I absolutely love that kid,” Scott answers and then he finishes his beer with one last gulp. 

They’re quiet for a moment as Scott tamps down the panic and Patch sits beside him, his calm, steady energy absorbing some of Scott’s anxiety. 

“You should tell her,” Patch tells Scott, tipping his drink toward him for emphasis. 

“Kaela?” Scott asks, intentionally obtuse.

Patch just fixes him with a hard, knowing stare. 

“Someday,” he posits wistfully. 

“Soon is better,” Patch encourages, raising his eyebrows again, then downing the rest of his drink. “To avoid the truth because of fear, that will only lead to regret, I think.”

They throw some cash on the bar and get their jackets on so they can leave. They make the short drive back to Tessa’s in silence. 

When they walk back into Tessa’s house and he sees her there with Kaela cradled in her arms as Marie talks quietly at her side, Scott is overwhelmed with the understanding that, yes, fear might lead to regret, but he also knows that he knows Tessa better than anyone and she’s not there yet. 

She’s utterly oblivious to how much the character of his love for her has changed. And more than that, she’s not ready for it. 

So he’ll wait and watch and hope. And he’ll take care of her, like always, even if that means he has to keep his mouth shut and not say what he’s feeling the exact moment he’s feeling it. He’s got a lot of practice with that.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The baby keeps crying these heart-wrenching cries that hit him in the gut and break his heart. Her voice is still so small but there’s a desperation there he’s pretty sure he’d give anything to fix. 
> 
> “I’ve got her, T. Go take a shower,” he encourages. He forces a confidence he doesn’t feel into the words and it’s only because Tessa is so damn tired that she doesn’t notice. Thank god.

The uncharacteristic response he gets from Tessa has him thumbing to his favorites and hitting her name. Her distress when she answers is possibly the worst he’s ever heard it and he’s pulling on his boots and jacket before he’s consciously chosen to head over to her house. 

He’s halfway through his door before he turns back to his kitchen, grabs a grocery bag and throws containers of lunch meat, cheese, some bread and a few tomatoes into it, looks around to see if he’s missing anything, grabs a tin of Cara’s cookies on a whim, and then leaves his house, barely remembering to lock up.

Tessa looks pretty bad. Her hair is a frizzy mess, her face is both blotchy and ashen and her eyes are devoid of any emotion. She’s gone into shutdown mode, something that may have worked for her a million times in the past when she gets overwhelmed, but seems to be freaking the baby out. 

Scott pulls them both into a hug frowns and when it takes more than a few moments for Tessa to sigh and lean in. He presses a kiss to her hair and pulls back after a bit, holding his hands out for the still screaming baby. 

“Give her here,” Scott coaxes. Tessa looks so defeated when she hands the baby over that Scott wants to scream. 

The baby keeps crying these heart-wrenching cries that hit him in the gut and break his heart. Her voice is still so small but there’s a desperation there he’s pretty sure he’d give anything to fix. 

“I’ve got her, T. Go take a shower,” he encourages. He forces a confidence he doesn’t feel into the words and it’s only because Tessa is so damn tired that she doesn’t notice. Thank god. 

He reassures her that the baby’s crying doesn’t bother him and at last she acquiesces. He watches as Tessa forces herself to walk out of the living room. 

He doesn’t have to force himself to focus on the baby then, she’s kinda hard to ignore when she’s asleep and quiet, when she’s crying her guts out he’s amazed he managed to talk to Tess at all. 

Scott shifts the baby so she’s in an upright position against his shoulder and starts pacing with a bouncy step, making soft shushing noises and doing his best to reassure Kaela that she’s safe and cared for. 

“You’re okay, Baby. You’re gonna be just fine. Cry all you need to, let it all out,” he says, keeping his voice low but audible. “Life is hard, yeah? It’s so rough being out here in this big world. I don’t blame you if you want to go back. You’re mom’s pretty badass and you probably felt safe and happy inside her, huh. Let me tell you, though, your mom is pretty amazing from this side, too. Maybe you can give her a break, ya know? This is all new and scary for her, too.” He drops kisses to her head every once in awhile and rubs his hand up and down her back, though she’s so tiny that his hand pretty much takes up her whole back. 

What he’s doing seems to be working as her cries diminish and turn into these unbelievably adorable little hiccuping shudders and occasional whimpers, so he keeps walking and talking. 

It’s not long before Tessa comes back, her hair wet against her back and her eyes still so heavy and dark underneath but at least she looks like she can breathe again. Tessa barely looks at him as she settles into the corner of the couch, grabs one of those rounded pillows for nursing and holds out her hands for Kaela. He looks at her skeptically for a moment but when she tells him she needs to feed her, he hands her over. 

“Do you need me to step out,” he asks, out of courtesy more than anything. Moms breastfeeding their babies in front of him has honestly always weirded him out a little, probably because it doesn’t happen very often, but he doesn’t think it’d be so weird when it’s Tess. He chooses to ignore why she’d be different, except for acknowledging that pretty much everything is different with her. 

Tess just rolls her eyes and tells him she doesn’t care so he stays and sits with them in the calm. 

He looks up when he hears Tessa asking Kaela why she was so sad. The sadness and relief in Tessa’s voice has him choked up so he offers to make her some food and sets to fixing her a sandwich. 

They sit in the quiet as Tessa and Kaela eat, though he can’t help but chuckle when the baby snorts and snuffles her way through her meal. 

He manages to coax Tessa into going to bed once the baby is done eating and has fallen asleep and soon he’s alone with the baby again, though this time she’s asleep in his arms and he gets to take some time just looking at her. 

She’s small and a little scrawny. Her ears are tiny and her nose is a little squished. She still has a serious look on her face, even in sleep and he wonders what she dreams of. 

She wakes a few hours later with a few small cries and some wiggling. He picks her up and immediately smells that she needs a diaper change so he goes about doing that. It’s a bit of a disaster because it’s not like he’s changed a lot of diapers in his life and he gets the bright yellow poop all over her sleeper so he goes in search of something else to put her in. It’s hard going but once he gets her bum clean she seems to be content to stare up at him with those intensely aware eyes as he puts on a clean diaper (holy crap they are tiny) and gets her dressed in a light green sleeper with tiny elephants all over it. 

Once she’s dressed he settles her on his lap and watches her watching him. Her face is so serious that he can’t help but smile. “How ‘bout we make a deal, little one? You and I are gonna be buddies. How’s that sound? You wanna be my buddy?” he asks with a weird sincerity that he doesn’t understand but the question feels important, Kaela’s inability to agree notwithstanding. He gently strokes his thumbs along the bridge of her nose and down the sides of her cheeks to help soothe her now that they’re not moving anymore. She seems okay with the arrangement if her contented sighs are any indication. “You and I are gonna do what we can for your mama, okay? We’re gonna have some mad hangs while your mom sleeps sometimes, and you can tell me all about how your life’s been. You can tell me when your mad or sad, okay?”

She sneezes in response and looks so startled that he grins back. “That was a big sneeze. How did such a big sneeze come out of such a little body? You’re gonna do amazing, big things, buddy. It’s gonna to be so fun to watch.” 

He gets quiet then and the baby stares up at him like she can see right through him. 

“So here’s the deal. Your mama is crazy and sort of named you after me. I know, it’s nuts. But you’re gonna be just fine, buddy. You got saddled with a heck of a name, which is really cool but I don’t know what your mom was thinking. It’s motivating, though, that’s for sure. I’m going to do what I can to be worthy of the honor. I’m not there yet, but maybe someday, once you’re old enough to know better, I’ll have made up for all the stupid crap I’ve done.”

“You already are.”

Tess’s low, gravely, sleep-soaked voice startles him and he can’t help but feel like he got caught sharing secrets. He does his best to smile up at her and change the subject but, of course she’s having none of it. 

She squeezes herself into the space between him and the couch and lets herself sink against his side. She’s obviously still so tired. 

She tells him that he’s been amazing and he’s just completely thrown by how grateful she sounds. He hasn’t even been around more than a couple of times since Kaela was born, which he did on purpose because he knew Kate was around and he didn’t want to crowd them, but he still kind of expects Tessa to resent him for it. Instead she’s thanking him. He doesn’t deserve her gratitude. Not after what he’d done after she told him about Kaela. 

“It’s not nearly enough,” he croaks out. 

“It’s more than enough for now,” she tells him as she looks him right in the eyes. All he sees is sincerity. “We hit a bump in the road, we’ve hit a few bumps in the road, but the vast majority of the time I’ve known you, you’ve been my constant and no one is more supportive than you when you decide to be.”

How does she do this time and time again? How does she forgive him? “You always see the best in me.” He doesn’t understand that either. 

“Not always. And I’m not saying that the bump in the road wasn’t scary and that part of me isn’t wary, but all that can fix that is time and both of us showing up for each other over and over again.” She looks up at him with this weird mix of pragmatism and hope and he’s, once again, blown away by her strength and grace. 

“That’s the plan,” he says it with an easy air that belies how much he means it. It’s a promise. 

“I might even say that overnight babysitting is above and beyond,” she says with a sheepish look. 

“I’m here for you and for this baby girl for as long as you need me,” he tells her and it’s the honest truth. 

When Tessa feeds the baby this time, he lets himself watch. He doesn’t stare but he also doesn’t avert his eyes or busy himself to distract himself. Scott lets himself sit there with them, letting himself bask in the peaceful quiet as his best friend feeds her daughter. 

He watches as Tessa’s eyes close well before Kaela falls asleep, seemingly satisfied with her meal. 

He rouses Tessa and encourages her to go back to bed. He doesn’t have to work hard to convince her to let him stay, which tells him all he needs to know. He vows to do this more often. No one should have to do this alone all the time. 

He doesn’t let himself think much beyond that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So. How'd that go? 
> 
> I'm shitastic at writing to prompts, but if there are any other scenes y'all want me to write from Scott's pov, let me know. And if you're on Tumblr come say hi, yeah?


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 2 of My Heart's at the Wheel Now from Scott's POV.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to C & D as always for their extra eyes and encouragement. 
> 
> It's possible this has been sitting almost completed in google docs for the last month and change. *blink*

Scott has vaguely been aware that Tessa has been in a weird headspace for the last month or so but he honestly hasn’t been able to find it in him to care all that much. He asks her once or twice if she’s okay and she tells him whatever she tells him to get him to back off and he does, because they’re both going through this transition but it feels like at some point along the way, maybe in Sochi, maybe before it, they’d decided to transition into the next phase of their lives and careers as separate entities. 

He spends the Stars on Ice tour drowning himself in his friends, alcohol and the occasional woman, and does his best to be only as focused on Tessa and skating as safety and his general sense of decency requires. 

When she gets sick he comes up for air so to speak and really looks at her and acknowledges her for the first time in awhile and is struck by how sad and scared and out of sorts she looks. When she firmly but gently rejects his offer to help her through the night, he remembers quickly just what they’ve silently agreed to do. They have to figure out a way to forge their own paths. 

She invites him over to her house a few days after the tour ends and he knows this is it. This is where their paths are going to diverge, at least for awhile. This is where she will tell him, in her own kind and serious way, that she doesn’t need or want to be by his side day in and day out anymore. This is where he’ll agree with her and let her go. This is where she will tell him that she’s going to go to school and be an academic superstar. Or where she’ll tell him that she’s gonna be a model who travels the world without him. Or anything but a girl who has to wake up before dawn and skate in a cold rink with her hand in his. 

They’ve watched other skaters go their separate ways for most of the year and then come together for a few months at tour time and eke out some soft performances that barely hint at greatness gone by. He figures that they’ll be those people. At least for another few years. 

He’s ready for this. Ready for a break from being so intertwined with another person. Just for awhile. 

“I’m pregnant,” she says. And he is anything but ready. 

***

He gets blitzed that night with his friends. Doesn’t think about Tessa or her kid even once.

He sees her at two more events where he smiles in her general direction and at the audience. Where he puts his arm around her shoulder and they never look each other in the eye. 

He’s out drinking with another buddy of his in early June when he gets a text from Tessa asking how he’s doing. He texts her back that he’s fine and then turns his phone off. 

He buys a house with Charlie, a broken, dilapidated house that they work on with their dad, and other friends and contractors and it feels good to have something to focus on for awhile. But he still drinks at night, every night. He plays softball and flirts with girls. He sleeps with a few of those girls, even. He gets another text from Tessa in early June asking if he wants to meet up. It’s just before noon and he’s still hungover from the night before and for a second, seeing her name makes him feel something for the first time in weeks. 

But it isn’t happiness or excitement. It’s pain and sadness and anger that he knows he cannot take out on her. He dials her number before thinking it through and inhales sharply at the sound of her saying his name. 

“Hey. I got your message,” he tells her quietly. 

“I figured,” she answers and he can tell her brow is probably furrowed. “I was thinking we could go get lunch this week. If you’re not too busy.”

He doesn’t reply right away as he weighs his options. He’d like to be able to say yes, he’d like to be the bigger person and see her and make sure she’s doing okay and eating and taking care of herself and her kid. But he doesn’t have it in him right now. He’s numb most of the time and when he isn’t, he’s angry. And yes, Tessa is the only one to be able to get through the blanket that’s muting all of his emotions, but the emotions he feels around her and about her are a fucking mess; the chances that he’d just spew all of the garbage he’s shoved down inside him over the last two years onto her is too high. He may not be a great man, but he knows better than to do that to her. So he says no. 

“Tessa, I need some time,” he tells her, voice as neutral and even as he can manage to make it. 

“You need more time away from me,” she says. She manages to keep her voice steady until the end when it cracks a little and if Scott didn’t already have an issue with self-loathing, it would have been enough to send him spiraling. 

“I’ll contact you,” he says before saying goodbye and hanging up. 

He doesn’t even go to the bar to get trashed tonight, instead opting for some whiskey straight from the bottle. 

***

Two days later, much sooner than expected, he’s helping his mother repair a loose board on her porch. Charlie’s daughter is hanging out with Alma, playing on a tire swing and humming to herself. He loves his niece but the humming is strangely distracting and his head is pounding and his hammering gets a little wilder and as anyone could predict, he manages to smash the shit out of his finger.   
The words that come out of his mouth and the vehemence with which he throws the hammer across the porch has both Alma and his niece looking at him like they’ve never laid eyes on him. Alma’s face quickly turns to frustration and disappointment, but it’s the look on his niece’s face that breaks him. 

She’s scared. Of him. 

“Sorry, mom,” he whispers. 

“Go home, Scott,” she replies. “I can handle this just fine on my own.” 

“Okay,” he agrees, wiping his hands on his jeans. He looks over toward his niece on the swing, “I’m sorry, kiddo. I don’t want to scare you. Ever.”

She just nods in response and turns away. 

He’s getting into his car a few minutes later when he hears his mom call out to him. 

“I’m gonna call you later, Scott,” she says. “And you’re going to be sober.”

Scott nods in response and then pulls out of the driveway. 

***  
He schedules an appointment with a therapist that had been recommended to him in the immediate aftermath of Sochi and begins seeing him regularly over the next few weeks. He spends as much time as possible working on his house, playing softball sober, spending time with his parents and brother and Cara. He also does his best to spend some time alone, allowing himself to really think through the mess that has been his life for the last few months. Or the last few years, really. 

While he was able to be present in the moment for Sochi, and that was an accomplishment, it was just another way for him to avoid confronting his future. Everyone was constantly telling him (them) to be mindful, be present, don’t let these moments slip past you, and that was great advice, but he can see now that he likely took it to an extreme that wasn’t great for who he is now. In focusing on the present, he allowed himself to ignore the past and future. 

He figured he’d have a few more years to dick around, doing tours with Tess, find a girl who he could maybe settle down with, get his drink and party on in the meantime while he figured out what the fuck he was supposed to do with the rest of his life when skating sort of sucked right now and he had a hard time imagining how he could buy into a system that lets the athletes down so often. 

And then Tessa took that from him.   
He knows, he _knows_ , that he can’t keep looking at it like that and he’s working on it, but that easy, chill transition is no longer an option and damnit if he isn’t just a little blindsided by that. And angry and sad and mad at himself for not being capable of being there for her right now. 

He’s getting there, though. 

It takes longer than it should, he realizes, and next thing he knows it’s been more than two months since they’ve really talked and though he’s picked up the phone a few times to text or call her, the shame he feels about how bad a partner he’s been for her, though he knows he wasn’t capable of it in that moment, keeps him from pressing send. 

Scott knows the ball is in his court, that Tessa is extremely unlikely to reach out to him first since he explicitly asked her not to, and he’s considered reaching out to Kate or Tess’s siblings first but he rejects those thoughts immediately. He’s ready and he’ll text her soon. Tomorrow, maybe. 

Surprised doesn’t even begin to cover it when, as he’s getting ready to help his aunt with some of her young dance teams for the afternoon, he gets a text from Tess. It’s a sonogram with the caption, “It’s a girl!”

This isn’t even close to what he figured their first contact in months would be, but he can’t help the smile that creeps across his face for a few fantastic seconds. That she still wants him to have this information is huge. He does his best to stay focused on the athletes that he’s helping, but as he shows them the drills he wants them to practice, he can’t help the wistful smile that’s taken up residence on his lips. 

Tessa’s going to have a daughter. An actual tiny human who will hopefully look exactly like her mom, who will have the determination and strength and laugh of her mother, but hopefully less hardship. A little girl who Tess will love and protect and cherish.

Once he’s high-fived the four dance couples as they make their way off the ice, and he’s changed out of his skates and into his street shoes, he doesn’t even consider going anywhere but her house. On the drive over he checks his motivation and finds that he’s free of any resentment or anger or sadness. He’s nervous, fucking hell he’s nervous, but he looks back on the last month, at the work he’s done, and while he knows he’s got a long road ahead, he hopes he’s course corrected quick enough that he’ll be able to support Tessa and her kid in a way he couldn’t fathom in May or June. 

He knocks on her door and it takes a little longer than he’d expect for her to answer. When she finally does it’s more than obvious that she’s been sleeping, and that she’s shocked he’s here. 

“Scott?” she asks. Her voice is sleep filled, yes, but also completely bewildered. 

“Hey.”

“Hi.”

It’s been a long, long time since she’s been unable to look at him when they’re talking. She was so angry and determined after their stretch of shitty communication after her first surgery that she would look him square in the face and dare him to look away. Which he did. 

“You were asleep,” he says, stating the obvious and allowing a bit of chagrin to seep into his tone. 

She shrugs and tells him she was going to get up anyway to write some papers. Before he has chance to raise his eyebrow in skepticism, the alarm on her phone goes off and she holds it up as proof, and shrugs. 

Tessa doesn’t move though. She just stays in her doorway looking past him like she’s unsure of her next move, or in a completely different world. Scott shifts on his feet, trying to come up with something to say, nervously clearing his throat, which prompts her to look up at him for a second. 

“Oh. Yeah. Come in.” She turns and makes her way into her kitchen, immediately reaching to grab two glasses from the cupboard and filling them with water. 

He takes off his sunglasses as he walks into the house, hooking them on his collar. It’s then that Scott gets to really look at her. She’s wearing a short cami and her baggy pajama pants are hanging loose and low on her hips, which means he has a perfect view of her abdomen and her small, but definitely there, baby belly. It’s fascinating and even tired and stressed and unsure as she is, she looks healthy and beautiful and his hands are itching to reach out and learn the new circumference of her waist. 

His fascination must be showing on his face because Tessa looks at him in alarm and a little embarrassment and asks, “What?”

“You’re doing well?” he asks. 

“Yes,” is all she replies, and Scott’s beginning to come to terms with this conversation being a little more difficult than what he’d imagined upon receiving that text. He should have called first. Damnit. 

Tessa leads him into the TV room, and he can see her papers and books spread out on the glass coffee table, realizing that she really was just taking a power nap before finishing whatever she was working on. She curls into a corner of the couch and pulls her knees up to her chin, hugging her shins. He hasn’t see her this closed off, maybe ever. At least not with him. He realizes she’s actually hiding from him and that breaks his heart just a little. 

“You look amazing,” he says, attempting to be encouraging. Trying to let her know that she doesn't need to hide from him. He sits down on the couch, but instead of plopping down and sprawling against the cushions like he normally would, he sits on the edge of the seat, facing her, doing his best to keep his posture open and respectful. He understands that he isn’t exactly being welcomed with open arms and he needs to make sure he’s ready and willing to leave the second she says he needs to. Maybe even before then. 

“Oh. Thanks,” she replies, as she rests her head on her knees and looks across the room. 

The burden is on him to fix this. If it wasn’t obvious before, and it was, her curt response and discomfort is screaming it at him now. He decides to go for forthright. 

“I’m glad you texted me.”

“That was by accident,” she quickly admits and his heart sinks a little. 

“That’s fair,” is what he replies, doing his damndest to keep the hurt out of his voice. This is on him. 

He watches her close her eyes and take a few centering breaths and clenches his jaw in response. He should go. He’s making her uncomfortable and he should go. He shifts to grab his water so he can drop it off in the sink on his way out when her voice stops him. 

“I obviously wanted you to know,” she says with a shrug. And then for the first time this exchange, she looks up at him and gives him a half smile. 

There she is. 

“I wanted to know,” he tells her. 

“Then I’m glad I told you,” she says with a satisfied nod. She’s back to looking past him though, so he figures he really should cut this exchange short and get to the heart of it so he can leave her to her work. 

“I’m so sorry, Tessa,” he says, steady and sincere. He almost reaches out to take her hand, but stops himself when he sees all the hurt and fear and sadness in her eyes. 

“Can I ask what happened?” she asks, and he raises an eyebrow to ask for clarification. “I know I got pregnant and I didn’t tell you for a little bit and I know that hurt you and probably scared you. But...what happened after that?”

She deserves the truth, but man if he doesn’t feel like a shithead as he tells her. “A lot of drinking.”

“Oh,” she replies in a way that indicates she has no idea what to do with that information. 

He tries to clarify further. “When I left here last time, all I could think was, ‘That skate in Vancouver was our last, and she didn’t even tell me.” It sounds so lame coming out of his mouth now, but at the time it was like his world was ending and his favorite person was taking it away. 

She surprises him with her compassionate response and genuine understanding when she tells him, “Wow. Yeah, I can see how that would hurt.” She squeezes his forearm and looks him in the eye, the question obvious in her face. “Why do you think that was our last show, though?”

Scott raises his eyebrows a bit and says, “You’re pregnant and having a baby, Tessa.” He realizes it’s a dumb thing to say almost immediately because of course she’s aware of her current state.

Tessa blows his mind, then, by explaining that she never planned to give up skating. He feels like an asshole when he remembers, not only Katia skating while pregnant, but quite a few other women in the sport. His stomach drops when she admits she’s been skating without him. He doesn’t, for one second, begrudge her the chance to do what she loves, even when it’s without him, but he’s gonna kick his own ass when he gets home. He’s handled this all wrong. 

And yet, looking back at everything that led up to those choices, he knows that he needed to work through a lot these past few months, still has a lot to work on in fact, and he’s aware that he needed some separation from Tess and the safety she provided for him, before he could see any of his shit all that clearly. 

They commiserate over how weird skating by yourself is and just as Scott is ready to breathe a sigh of relief and take his leave, for now, while he’s ahead, Tess frowns and asks in a voice so raw and heartbreaking, “Why did you leave me?”

And then she sobs and Scott doesn’t eve think it through. He just crosses the distance between them on the couch and pulls her to him, cradling her against his chest. “God, Tess. I’m so sorry.”

Even when he was angry as hell at her and the world and himself, he never wanted to hurt her. 

He can see, when she pulls back and looks up at him, eyes wet but glittering and fierce, that he’s not the only one who has been angry. 

“You left me all alone, Scott. I tell you this huge, terrifying thing and you just walked out my door and left,” she says, voice raspy and low like she’s trying to rein in her emotions.

“I wish I had a better answer for you,” he says, and he does. Looking back now he can see where he had a lot of shit wrong. “I don’t, though. I think maybe I thought you were abandoning me, which before you say it, I can see that that’s ridiculous.”

Tessa makes a crack about how she’s having a baby, not moving to Australia, as she retreats back into her corner of the couch and Scott can feel her closing herself off a little bit. 

He does his best to explain to her that he truly believed that she would be so all-in with the baby that skating would be a thing of the past. 

She reminds him that work and skating help keep her sane, baby or no, and he concedes the point, for the most part. 

And then something shifts, and Tessa lets down her guard and lets him in again. For a few moments he’s completely bushwhacked by how open she is being with him. She’s angry and sad and scared and thrilled and he can see all of her feelings play across her face in turn. It breaks his heart that she’s so unsure of if he would want to still skate with her. Like there’s anything else in this ding-danged world he’d want to do more than that. 

Oh Tessa. 

“I can honestly say I don’t think there’s anything I want more than to keep skating with you,” he tells her as openly as he can. 

When she starts to manage his expectations about whether or not she’ll ever be able to really skate with him again, he can’t help but reach out and reassure her, because honestly? They need to get back on the ice, if it’s safe for her to do so. If there’s going to be any chance of them getting back to a better place, they need that time to let their bodies do what they do best so their brains can retreat a little. 

When she agrees to him crashing her ice time, the smile on his face is bigger than it’s been in months. 

On the drive home all he can think is _don’t fuck this up_.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Christmas 2014 and he misses her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For A, because of the whole being born thing. I'm very glad that's a thing that happened. 
> 
> Thanks to C & D for their thorough beta. This got fiddled with some more after so...oops. ;) 
> 
> Come find me on tumblr at boo-writes-stuff if you want to talk more about this 'verse or my other TS fic. Let me know if this scene hit the spot, yeah?

Scott’s time in Calgary is good. Really good. He loves spending time with Danny and his family, enjoys playing with his ridiculously rambunctious two-year-old niece who laughs and squeals and chatters a mile a minute in what sounds like her own language. There have been numerous times that Danny’s daughter will be climbing on him like he’s a jungle gym and telling him some fantastic story and all he can do is nod and smile and give her a smacking kiss on the cheek when she cocks her head at him as if waiting for an answer to her unintelligible question. 

Tessa, Moir, not Virtue, seems to understand most of what her daughter is saying, but Danny regularly meets Scott’s curious raised eyebrows with a shrug. His brother often swoops in then and throws his daughter into the air, her giggles raining down on the brothers, effectively distracting her from whatever she was so earnestly informing them of moments before. 

It gets even better when Charlie’s family shows up with Alma and Joe. There’s a warmth to their Christmas celebrations that has Scott smiling happily and there is more than one picture of Scott, asleep on the couch, with a passed out niece snuggled into either arm. In those 10 days, Scott usurps their mothers and their grandparents for favorite person on the planet. 

But when either girl gets hurt (and they do, because they are Moirs) they do not run to Scott. They run to Tessa or Nicole, or if their moms are not in the room, then they run to Danny or Charlie. They curl into the chest of whichever parent they find first and are calmed by the soothing voice of their mom or dad. They present their owies first to those who they know will always take care of them. When they’re scared or filled with emotion, Scott is not their go-to comforter. Scott is for fun and laughter and tickle monsters. And for these two tiny toddlers, he’s content with that role. 

As the holiday wears on, though, Scott has to acknowledge the ache in his chest when he sees one of his brothers in dad-mode. The wistfulness he feels when he sees Danny comfort his little girl as she looks up at her dad, eyes full of crocodile tears that cling to her lashes, with total and complete trust in him just about bowls him over. And when he watches Charlie and Nicole lean into each other, with their daughter fast asleep between them, as they exchange a look of satisfaction and love and mutual affection for each other and their kid, it’s kinda like someone punched him in the gut and he forgets how to breathe for a second or two. 

He misses her. He misses Kaela and he misses Tessa and wonders constantly how much Kaela’s grown, if her eye color has changed shades, how she’s doing with Jordan at night. That tiny baby is in the back of his mind almost constantly. And, if he’s honest, so is her mom. 

“You going to do something about it?” Danny asks him the day after Christmas. Scott is startled by his brother’s low voice as he looks down at a picture that Tessa just texted him. In it, Kaela is wrapped up in her hooded duck towel, fresh out of her bath. Her eyes are wide, lashes a little clumped together like they get when she’s been crying, but there’s this soft, sweet look on her face as she gazes up at her mama and honestly Scott has to clench his jaw against the jolt of longing that hits him hard. Another picture comes in of Tessa in her fluffy bathrobe and Kaela, still wrapped in her towel sucking on Tessa’s collarbone. Tessa has a fond smile on her face and captions the picture, _I think someone’s hungry_. 

“Hmm?” Scott asks Danny, not looking up from his phone. 

“Are you ever going to tell Tessa?”

“Tell her what?” Scott asks, genuinely curious. 

“That you love her,” Danny answers with an eye roll. 

“Every few months or so. More when we skated,” Scott says with a furrowed brow. What’s Danny getting at? 

Danny cocks his head at Scott and peers at him carefully. “Huh,” he says, as if he’s come to a conclusion he wasn’t expecting. 

“Something you want to share with the class?” Scott asks. Danny does this sometimes. Starts to say something and then pulls back. It drove Scott crazy as a kid, but now he’s used to it. If it’s important, Danny will tell him eventually; he almost always does. 

“No,” Danny says as he sits on the other end of the couch and picks up the remote to turn on TSN. 

Scott ignores his brother and texts Tessa back, _Feed the poor girl, T!_

***

Scott has been on so many planes in his lifetime that he’s gotten pretty decent at being patient with how slow the process of any kind of travel, including air travel, can be. Obviously the plane hurtling through the air is not slow, but unlike the crowds around them, he doesn’t tend to chomp at the bit while waiting in security lines, or when boarding and deplaning. He figured out long ago that rushing the people in front of him just makes the whole process feel that much slower. 

Today, though, he wants off this damn plane so he can get his bag, grab a ride, and finally crawl into his own bed in his own home. He breathes through the impatience and anxiety, helps two different older ladies get their carry-ons from the overhead bins, signs two autographs and takes three selfies as they wait at baggage claim, because apparently that’s a thing that still happens to him almost a year after winning silver at their second Olympics. 

It’s not until his Uber is pulling up at Tessa’s house instead of his that he even realizes that he’d put her address into the app on his phone instead of his own. For half a second he considers asking the driver if he is willing to drive him to the outskirts of town, or at least to the corner store where he can call Cara or someone to come pick him up from, but he dismisses the idea immediately, gets out, gathers his bags, tips the driver and then hauls everything up to the front door. He lets himself into Tessa’s house, knocking softly to announce his presence. He slips off his boots, jacket, hat, and gloves, putting them all in their proper places in the alcove before padding into the entryway. She isn’t in the front living room, but she rarely is these days, so he calls out her name as softly as he can while still being heard in the family room, hoping that if Kaela is asleep he doesn’t wake her. 

Tessa stands from where she was lying on the floor, in savasana, Scott assumes, given the mat on the floor, and raises her eyebrows at him as she says, voice pitched low enough that he can barely hear it over the sound machine playing crashing waves on a loop, “Did I know you were coming over tonight?”

Scott shakes his head, squinting at her in the dim light. It only takes a couple of steps to get to her and then he wraps her tightly in a hug he’s been wanting for days. He inhales deeply as he presses his face against the side of her head, and then exhales out, “I missed you,” almost on accident. 

It’s not until this moment that he understands how true it is. He’d been cognizant of how he’s missed Kaela, but he could chalk that up to watching her grow exponentially over the last two months, and his acute awareness that 10 days is enough time for her cheeks to fill in more, and for her eyes to deepen in both color and awareness, and for her smiles, those smiles that they’ve never really been sure are real smiles, to become true expressions of delight. It makes sense to him, then, that he’d miss the baby that has him wrapped around her tiny little fingers. 

But, god, he’s missed Tessa just as much. Where missing Kaela took root as sharp jabs, missing Tessa was a dull, constant throb. Maybe a little easier to tune out, but always there. 

He missed her presence and the feel of her in his arms. He missed the sound of her voice in his ear and the way her eyes squint just a little when she smiles, and even the strangely comforting smell of her warm body when she’s been sweating.

“I missed you, too,” she murmurs, but not so low that he can’t hear the undercurrent of emotion in her voice. That bit of vulnerability has him holding her tighter as he presses a kiss against her hair. He holds her for a few more beats and then starts to sway a bit, rocking her back and forth until he exaggerates the motion to break the tension. She laughs against his chest in thanks and then steps out of his arms and over to the cupboard to grab two glasses to fill up with water. 

“How was your Christmas?” she asks as he heads over to the portable bassinet so he can look in on Kaela. The light is low, only the standing lamp that sits in between the kitchen and the family room giving any illumination but it’s enough to make out the line of her nose and the way her lashes fan out against her cheeks as her belly rises and falls with each deep, baby breath. He reaches out and tucks his finger into one of her hands, which curls around it, no longer by reflex, but out of habit. He smiles at the action and then stands there watching her breathe for a little bit longer until he hears Tessa gently place their glasses on her coffee table behind him. Scott carefully extracts his finger from Kaela’s grasp and it takes everything in him not to wake her. 

Instead he sits on the couch next to Tessa, takes a long drink of his water, tells her that he’d had a good holiday, and then asks about her Christmas. 

They talked enough during their holidays that there’s not too much to catch up on, but they’ve never needed time apart to have things to talk about. Even so, they lapse into silence fairly quickly, as Scott wraps an arm around Tessa and she relaxes into his side. The longer he holds her the more boneless they both become until the noise from Kaela’s sound machine lulls them into an almost trance-like silence. 

He doesn’t know how long they sit like that, staring into the semi-dark middle distance before Kaela lets out a sneeze and then a tiny cough. They freeze as they wait to see if it’s woken her and Scott actually smiles when he hears the sound of her sleeper rustling against the linen in the bassinet. He waits a few more moments, until he hears her start to grunt, and then let out a little whimper, and then Tessa squeezes his side and pushes off of him so he can go get her. 

“Hey, buddy,” he whispers as he reaches out to turn the ocean sounds down, but not off. He scoops her up, bringing her plush blanket with her and then it’s like a little bit of clockwork inside of him that had shifted out of place slots back in and starts to run right again. He lets out a shuddering breath and smiles down at her, though he’s pretty sure she likely can’t see him well. As he asks her how her sleep was, like he does every time she wakes when he’s there, he sees her smile at the sound of his voice. She lets out a soft little coo in response, and then a bright squeal. Scott laughs and Kaela yawns against him and closes her eyes again. It always takes her a bit to wake up fully. 

He settles back onto the couch, shifting Kaela so she’s against his chest, getting some quasi-tummy time in, though she just lays her face against his chest as he supports her by her butt, and he tells her all about the games he played with his nieces. He breathes her in and presses a kiss to the top of her head. 

Kaela is not his...anything but he loves her as much, if not more, than he could ever imagine loving anyone. It shouldn’t surprise him that his relationship to Tessa’s baby would be as complex and stubbornly indefinable as his relationship to Tessa has always been. 

Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Tessa reach out and trace the line of Kaela’s face. Tessa’s eyes shimmer in the low light and if Scott tastes something of the future in that moment, he keeps it to himself.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Scott is there for Kaela's birth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This wasn't what I had planned on posting next, but I needed to write and this is what was willing to be written. I kind of love it and I hope y'all dig it, too. It was probably the most requested Scott POV. Thanks for waiting for it! 
> 
> As usual, C & D are rockstars and I appreciate that they don't let me get away with all my bullshit. They make these stories better than they have a right to be. 
> 
> Let me know what you think yeah?

Tessa has been restless and uncomfortable for the last few weeks, but with her misery becoming more apparent in the last few days, Scott plans to sneak into her house, make her a decent breakfast, and just be around to distract her from her discomfort. 

Except she’s already awake and in her kitchen at 7:00am. She’s leaning over her kitchen counter, resting on her forearms, a baby name book in hand, but he can tell she isn’t actually seeing the book. Her brows are pinched and her breaths are deliberate and a little harsher than normal. Scott quickly takes in the rest of the space and sees a layer cake frosted with lavender icing, and further on there are baby clothes spread on the couches in neat stacks; he could have sworn that Tessa and Kate had sorted out the baby clothes last week. 

She’s been up for awhile then. 

Scott sets the food he brought on the counter by the sink and then slides in beside her to lean against the counter with her, dropping a kiss on her shoulder in hello, but otherwise not touching her. Tessa sways just a little toward him, pressing her side against his and keeping the contact, though the way she’s looking down at the book in her hands with intense focus tells him she isn’t likely aware that she’s doing it. 

He keeps his voice low as they talk about baby names and has to swallow a gasp when she finally looks up at him. Her face is different. It’s subtle but it’s a little alarming to him. The bridge of her nose has widened slightly, and her cheeks have flattened out just a touch. Her freckles stand out more than usual and the dark circles around her eyes are more intense than he’s ever seen him. The way she holds herself is different and the little furrow of concentration between her brows doesn’t seem to go away. 

These minute changes in her set his teeth on edge and he has to keep from reaching for the phone to call Kate every time her breathing changes and the crease of her brow gets deeper. 

On the sly, he keeps track of how frequently she has contractions (because that’s what these are). He makes sure she eats and drinks plenty of fluids. He tries to distract her with jokes and more cooking and helping her put away all the baby clothes she inexplicably took out of the drawers they had just been put in last week. 

He turns on some music and sings a horrible rendition of “Go Your Own Way” while swallowing down his own fear and then pulls her in, swaying with her to “Moondance,” supporting her when she sags against him after a longer contraction. He’s simultaneously wigged and awed when the baby kicks him hard in the belly. Tessa laughs and gives her belly a pat in congratulations. Her whole being has shifted from exhausted fear to delighted joy and he can’t help but wrap her in a hug and press his lips hard against her temple. 

When they pull apart, she looks up at him, head cocked in curiosity. “What?” she asks, when she can’t seem to make out why he’s so in awe of her. 

“You’re amazing,” he tells her. It hits him that any day now, maybe any hour now, she’s going to be a mother. She’s strong, and scared, and beautiful as anything and he knows in his bones she’s going to be the best at this new role, but it’s just a little overwhelming. 

Tessa shakes her head in response and Scott pulls her back into his arms, just in time for another contraction to hit. She tenses and then sways a little and he moves with her. Most of the lightness and joy that she’d experienced in the moments before have been siphoned out of her and she once again sags against him when it’s over. 

He’s able to convince her to take a nap on the couch, and she dozes between contractions, but it’s almost like the act of resting spurs them on because before long, there have been three contractions each between eight and ten minutes apart. 

“I think I need to move around again,” she whispers as she pushes up into a sitting position. She’s pale again, but there are bright pink spots on the apples of her cheeks which are so uncharacteristic of Tessa. She never really flushes. Scott hops up from the chair he’s been sitting in and lends her a hand so she can stand with a little more ease. She presses her forehead against his shoulder as another contraction begins to crest and he runs his hands up and down her back as they wait for it to pass. 

Tessa moves out of his arms then and goes back to the kitchen counter to pick up the baby name book. She’s retreating and he gives her the space she’s silently asking for, using the moment to quickly text Kate to let her know the state of things. If he’s wrong and Tessa isn’t in “active” labor, she’s likely to kill him, but if he’s right then she’ll want Kate to come home. 

Another hour passes and Tessa becomes less and less verbal and he asks if he can call her mom for her a few more times, not so that Kate can have the heads up, but so Tessa can have the reassurance of her mother, but she refuses. As she’s heading to the bathroom, he’s able to convince her to let him call his own mom. He knows she mostly agrees to make him feel better but he’ll take it. 

“Hey Ma,” he says when she answers on the second ring. 

“Everything okay?” she asks. How does she always know? 

“Pretty sure Tess is in labor,” he tells her and then follows up by letting her know the morning’s events. He keeps his voice low but doesn’t manage to keep the fear from coloring his words. 

“Oh honey,” she says. “What can I do?”

“Maybe just keep close to your phone in case Kate can’t get back in time? She’s going to need a mom,” he says. 

“Of course,” she says. “Keep me updated.” He’s about to thank her and get off the phone when he hears Tessa call him from the bathroom. 

“Just a sec,” he says into the phone. 

“Tell me if something’s changed,” Alma tells him as he shifts his focus from the phone to Tessa. 

“Yeah, Tess?”

“I think my water just broke,” she says, voice high and a little bewildered. 

“Yeah, Mom,” he says as he looks Tessa in the eye. “She thinks her water just broke,” he repeats, though he’s pretty sure his mom already heard. 

“Get her to the hospital. I’ll take your niece home on the way there. Let me know if there are any other changes,” she implores him again. 

He hangs up and pulls Tessa into a hug. Her breathing is shallow and ragged at first and where fatigue was the most prominent feeling pouring out of her up till this moment, now there’s a mix of fear and anticipation. He grabs her go-bag while she gets changed and squeezes her hand when they meet out at the car and he helps her get settled. 

He doesn’t remember much about the drive to the hospital other than her gasps of pain when the contractions hit. From the sounds she’s making, it’s not just the frequency of the contractions that is increasing, but their intensity as well. The sounds she makes takes him back to the time before the 2010 Olympics when so much of her training experience leading up to games was marred with pain. Scott has never rellished her pain, but he had come to grips with it in a way that he wonders about now, watching her experience a different kind of productive pain. He trusted her to know her limits then, and as a full-fledged adult who can see what an asshole he was back then, he’s still not sure that he made the best choices about their training through her pain. 

She’s strong as fuck and always has been, but when she catches his eye in the rear view mirror while they’re stopped at the last stoplight before the hospital entrance and she gives him a tiny smile, he catches a split second of terror in her eyes that makes his chest tighten in sympathy. 

“Just a few more minutes, Kiddo,” he tells her, hoping his attempt at a reassuring smile helps. 

 

In triage, an assistant checks the baby’s heartbeat while the other literally sticks her hand into Tessa to check her dilation. Scott averts his eyes but holds Tessa’s hand when she sucks in a breath through her teeth and squeezes tight. When the nurse tells them that Tessa is definitely in labor, Scott watches as several emotions flicker over Tessa’s face in quick succession: Relief first, then panic, then determination. 

Good girl. 

Then she sighs, deep and sad, and says, “I should have called my mom this morning.”

He confesses that he’d contacted Kate awhile ago and tells her she’s already making her way back to London. He gives her a somewhat apologetic smile, acknowledging that he’s gone against her wishes and tries to promise with his eyes that he’ll do his best to never do it again. She doesn’t see it though because as soon as it registers that Kate is already coming, Tessa buries her head in his chest and sobs, the relief and fear and hormones combining to wash through and out of her in that moment. 

He does his best to soothe her as they wait to be transferred to the birthing clinic, and, as usual, Tessa calms quickly. In just under half an hour the staff have Tessa settled in her own little suite. They move around the room efficiently and quietly. 

Alma arrives a few minutes after they get settled and pulls Tessa into a long hug, whispers a few words to Tessa, kisses her on the cheek, and then encourages Scott to join her on the sofa. Tessa spends the next half-an hour in a world of her own, moving slowly about the room, stilling when a contraction hits, and then continuing on in her path. It should be boring to watch, but Scott’s eyes follow her around as he tries to relax into the cushions.

After a particularly long and hard contraction, Tessa opens her eyes and sees Scott and his mom sitting there and visibly startles. 

The moment she tells them that they can leave if they need to, he can see her eyes widen in panic, her hands curling into tight fists and her breath coming in sharp pants. Scott is on his feet and by her side in the next moment. All he wants to do is help her. 

He cradles her face gently between his hands, kisses her on the forehead and then pulls back, coaxing her to look up at him. When she does he tries to pour all of the reassurance he can into the look he gives her. 

“If you need us to go, we’ll wait in the waiting room, but I’m good with staying if it helps.” 

Truth is, a not insignificant part of him wants to flee from this room right now, to take the out and let his mom and the birth workers and eventually Kate be Tessa’s support through this huge moment that he was never supposed to be present for -- this whole day has been terrifying and weird as fuck. But he wants to stay way more than he wants to go. He has a deep need to see her through this, to help her make it through to the other side. 

“It’s asking a lot,” she tells him and he shakes his head slightly. “Are you really sure you’re okay to stay here while I’m _having_ the baby?” 

He takes half a second to process what she’s really asking him and makes his decision. He doesn’t need the out, nor does he want it. If he can help her, he will. It’s simple. 

“I’ll admit it’s a little terrifying and intimidating, but it’s you, Tess. Whatever you need I’m going to do. I’d like to at least stay until your mom can get here.” 

After that he’s no longer relegated to the couch. He does what he can to be whatever Tessa needs when she needs it. The doula teaches him how to apply counter pressure against Tessa’s tailbone, and how to squeeze her hips together to relieve some of the pain, but most of the time he acts as a touch stone, something to hold onto and steady her as she rocks through one contraction after another. 

It’s not all dour and serious. One of the staff members asks if she wants to listen to some music and Scott laughs when Tessa asks for JLo’s Greatest Hits. She gets him to dance with her for a few songs, and they both smile when one of the assistants makes a joke about Tessa dancing the baby out. During another light moment, Tessa swings from a looped swath of cloth hanging from the ceiling a genuine smile gracing her lips. The doula informs them the loop is an option for Tessa to hold onto when she needs to bear down while pushing, a phrase that sobers Scott right up. 

As the hours tick by, it’s the times Tessa doesn’t need or want his help that are the hardest, when all he can do is sit back and let her do her thing. She goes three contractions in a row on her own and he start to fidget and feel a little useless. 

The assistant midwife smiles at him and says, “I’ve never seen a husband or boyfriend anticipate their partner’s needs as easily as you have. It’s wild to watch you know exactly when and where to touch her and when to hold back. She doesn’t have to say anything, you just seem to know. You’re doing great,” she finishes as she pats him on the arm, and then approaches Tessa after the contraction is over and squats down so she can listen to the baby’s heartbeat with the doppler. 

Scott relaxes as the feedback laden sound fills the room, so reminiscent of a horse galloping. The tempo is much the same as it’s been for most of the day with only slight variations when a contraction starts. 

The baby is still okay. 

He clenches his jaw to keep from showing how overwhelmed he gets when the assistant removes the tool and silence settles over the room again. To distract himself, he takes a second to consider the assistant’s words before filing them away in the back of his mind. While he appreciates the encouragement and the assurance that he’s doing this -- whatever _this_ is -- well, he can’t look too closely at her observation. Not today. 

Scott startles at a touch on his arm and turns to see his mom at his side. 

“I’m going to head into the waiting room. Kate is at the airport and asked me to update the boys. She should be here soon,” Alma tells him in a low voice. 

Scott hugs his mom and thanks her before she slips out the door. She may not have done much today, but her being here was important. That she didn’t try to meddle, but was a calm, steady presence with Tessa when Kate couldn’t be was huge and he hopes she knows it. 

A few contractions after Alma leaves Tessa tries to lay down and they figure out pretty quickly that she doesn’t do well on her back so she lies on her side and the assistant again shows Scott how he can apply different levels of pressure to help Tessa through contractions. She only rests for about 45 minutes before she gets restless and the doula suggests a shower. 

Scott takes the chance to go out into the waiting room and find some coffee and check in on his mother. 

 

“Tessa still doing okay?” she asks, giving him a small smile.  
“She’s taking a shower. The doula said it might help with the pain,” he tells her as he sits next to her for a second.

“And you?” Alma asks, resting her head on Scott’s shoulder. 

“I...” he starts. He isn’t entirely sure how he is and he isn’t sure he should try to figure it out either.

“Yeah,” Alma says with a commiserating chuckle. “You just gotta be sure you keep breathing and trust yourself and Tessa. It’ll be fine and Kate will be here soon.”

Scott inhales deeply and exhales with an audible woosh. And then he does it again. 

And then he stands up and heads back into the laboring suite. 

Tessa seems more relaxed but also a little more out of it. Where she was quiet, almost to the point of being silent before, now she’s starting to hum through her contractions. She barely acknowledges the other people in the room but she’s still holding tension in her shoulders and back and Scott is starting to get a little worried about her stamina. 

Which is when he gets the message that Kate is on her way up. 

Tessa lets out a sob, and clings to his arms as a contraction hits her as she hears that news. 

It’s only two more contractions before Kate comes in, and Tessa moves out of his grasp and into her mom’s embrace. Scott is so happy for Tessa and Kate both but a strange tension hits him hard once again -- the relief that this is no longer his responsibility battling with his need to help his partner -- It’s not about him, though, and it was always Tessa’s plan for her mom to be her support during her delivery, so he catches Kate’s eyes from over Tessa’s shoulder and nods toward the doorway. 

Kate gives him a piercing gaze and he holds up his phone and murmurs, “If she needs me...”

Kate nods at him and he steps out of the room once again. His dad is sitting with his mom now, and so are Casey and Kevin. Joe hands him a sandwich and he dutifully takes a few bites. 

“How’s Sam doing?” Kevin asks Scott as he stares out the window. 

“She’s a total rockstar,” Scott answers. “I think she’s getting close.”

“It’s a trip, right?” Casey asks him. Scott remembers then that Casey just went through this a few months ago. At least Casey probably attended some birthing classes or watched some videos first. 

“It’s something,” he murmurs. It feels wrong to be telling other people, even family, any of the details. It’s Tessa’s story to tell if and when she decides. 

He polishes off the last of the sandwich and pops a stick of gum in his mouth just as his phone buzzes. 

_She’s asking for you._

Holy shit. 

“I gotta go back in,” is all he says before he heads back into the labor room. 

She’s in her own world again when he enters. Her robe is falling off her shoulders and while she had a tank and underwear on before, now it’s just the tank. She moves her hips through the contraction she’s in and then looks up at him and gives him a weary smile and he goes to her without either of them saying a word. At some point she pulls her tank off, too, complaining of how hot it was and how it was rubbing her skin raw. It’s so uncharacteristic of her that he looks up at the doula in confusion and she just nods at him with an encouraging smile and then focuses back on Tessa. 

There’s isn’t time to register any of this really, though, because things start moving rapidly and he goes into autopilot. Tessa mentions something about needing to push and the assistant encourages her to pant through it if she can. She manages to do so for the next two with Scott behind her, squeezing her hips together, but on the third she desperately informs the room, “I can’t,” then Tessa swiftly changes positions so she’s leaning back against him, half squatting. He manages to move with her as she shifts and squats with, his body supporting her, his arms wrapped just above her belly, and hers wrapping tightly around his as she does her damndest to push her baby out. 

There is a flurry of movement, and then she’s there. The baby slides into the midwife’s hands and is immediately passed up to Tessa’s arms. The baby gives the tiniest cry of protest at first, sneezes, and then lets out a wail that hits him in the chest and Tessa laughs in commiseration as she clutches her baby to her chest. All Scott can do is hold onto Tessa, keeping her upright as she has these first few moments with her daughter. 

_Don’t drop them._

Scott can’t see Tessa’s face, but he can see her daughter’s and he doesn’t even try to hold back the tears that form at his first sight of her precious face, eyes wide and a little startled as she takes in her new, expanded world. 

“Oh sweet girl,” Tessa says through her tears, and he can hear the sheer wonder in her voice. “You’re here. You’re really here.”

Scott presses a kiss to Tessa’s sweaty head but otherwise doesn’t interfere with their moment.  
“Scott,” the midwife calls up to him. “Let’s get them over to the bed,” she directs, and Scott immediately scoots them back and over and then lifts them both onto the bed. Tessa seems to take no notice of her change in position or location, not taking her eyes off her baby for a second. 

This task completed, Scott backs up to the couch and sits heavily, his eyes on Tessa and the baby as the team gets them settled and places a new towel over the baby. Kate climbs up on the bed with Tessa and the baby; it’s a serene picture, all three generations of Virtue women with their heads bowed together. 

The staff help Tessa deliver the placenta (which is a thing Scott had never contemplated witnessing) and then get her and the baby a little more cleaned up and comfortable. Through it all, the baby stays with Tessa, clutched in her arms as she bends to kiss her head or cheeks every time it strikes her fancy. Kate chuckles when the baby squawks in protest as the staff changes out the towel again, and Tessa laughs, too, but holds the baby tighter against her chest and tells her everything’s going to be just fine now. 

It’s so sweet and beautiful but something about it hurts more than he thought possible and now that there’s time to breathe, Scott is pretty sure he’s feeling every emotion, good and bad, all at once. Mostly he’s starting to feel like he’s intruding on a family that he isn’t really a part of, and a deep sense of sadness starts to well up in him. 

He’s just finished planning his retreat when he looks up to see Tessa beckon him over. His legs are heavy as he takes the three steps from the couch to the bed, but he can’t help but smile when he sees that tiny face nestled against Tessa’s pale, freckled skin.  
“Thank you for being here,” she tells him, only keeping eye contact for a moment before looking back down at her daughter. “I’ll have to thank your mom, too.”

There are so many things Scott wants to say but before he can choose which one Tessa pulls the towel a bit further from the baby’s face and props her up a little higher so both Scott and Kate can see her little, sleeping face clearly. 

“I’d like you both to meet Kaela Joy Moira Virtue.”

Kate responds immediately, welcoming her granddaughter by name, but Scott is too bewildered. 

“Tessa,” is all Scott can say at first. The name makes no sense at all. He shakes his head and looks at his friend, completely baffled by her choice. “I don’t know that I deserve that.” He’s painfully aware of the myriad ways he’s let this woman down in the last year, particularly when it comes to this baby. He was so quick to focus on what he was losing that he missed what was being gained and he abandoned his partner when she was hurting the most. He may have spent the last few months trying to make up for that abandonment, but he is under no illusion that he’s made up for it in any way. He’s not sure that there’s any way he ever can. 

“You do,” Tessa responds, and she sounds so firm. “You’re my best friend. I think it suits her.” 

Scott looks down at the soft, squishy face that has Tessa so mesmerized and sees her little eyebrow raise even as she sleeps. “It does,” he agrees. And then, before he can question himself, he leans in and kisses Tessa’s hair before dipping down and dropping a kiss against the top of the sleeping baby’s head. 

Scott doesn’t leave then. He intends to and he knows he probably should, but as Kate heads into the hall to bring Tessa’s brothers in to meet their niece, Tessa pats the bed next to her and encourages him to look at Kaela some more. 

“How does she smell so amazing when she was just inside me?” Tessa asks as Scott runs his finger down the bridge of the baby’s nose. 

Scott laughs out loud at that and the baby startles but doesn’t open her eyes. “Oh so sorry, buddy,” he murmurs as he lays his hand on her tiny back, right next to Tessa’s. 

“Buddy?” Tessa asks, obviously curious about the choice, but her smile indicates she’s not against it.

“Yeah,” Scott says. “We’re gonna be buds for sure.” He doesn’t look away from Kaela until he hears a little sniff come from Tessa. He looks up to see that Tessa’s got tears streaming down her face now and her chin is trembling a bit. “Hey, hey,” he says as he wonders what just happened. 

“You’re going to be in her life,” she says with a shrug. 

“I hope so,” he answers. Since getting the text from Tessa announcing that the baby was a girl Scott’s primary driving force has been being as present and helpful as he possibly can be in Tessa’s life. Like a lot of things, he’s refusing to examine why the need to make amends and prove himself to her is so strong, but the fact remains that the need exists. Even before she was born and named, Kaela has been included in this. 

He’s wiping Tessa’s tears away as Kate returns with Casey and Kevin in tow. 

Scott retreats back to the couch and watches as Tessa’s tall, lanky brothers adjust to their baby sister’s new status as a mother and fall in love with their niece. 

Casey leans down to hug Tessa while Kevin hangs back with Kate for a bit longer. 

“Look at you,” Casey says and Scott isn’t sure if he’s talking to Tessa or the baby in her arms.

“Look what I did,” Tessa says as she shows Kaela off, the pride and joy etched in every syllable. 

Both brothers laugh and smile at her. 

“She’s beautiful,” Kevin says as he approaches, squeezing Tessa’s shoulder. 

“I think I’ll keep her,” Tessa says with a wink. 

Scott has often been fascinated with Tessa’s relationship with her brothers. Her need to keep up with them has mostly been met with patient affection. He wonders if she’ll ever see just how proud they are of her. 

Her brothers keep their visit short and Alma and Joe duck in for a few minutes to meet the baby and give their congratulations before heading back out with more hugs and kisses for Tessa. 

“You did good,” Joe tells her with a wink before they leave. 

Scott walks them to the door and when he turns around Tessa looks confused and a little sheepish.

“I didn’t know your dad was here,” Tessa says, obviously taken aback when she realizes that Joe had been here along with Alma for at least an hour. 

“He and your brothers got here when I did,” Kate answers. 

“But...” she starts before trailing off, obviously confused as to why he’d spend his evening at the hospital waiting for a baby he isn’t related to. “Why?” she finally settles on. 

“It’s you, Tess,” is all Scott says, because it should be obvious. 

“Oh.” Her reply is quiet and contemplative but another sneeze from Kaela distracts her from whatever conclusions she’s drawing from his answer. 

Everytime Scott is convinced it’s time for him to leave them, Tessa starts another conversation, or Kate asks him for an update on his family, or they ask him to take a picture of the three of them so they can send it to Jordan (which immediately prompts a video call that has all three Virtue women crying with joy and a little sadness at Jordan’s distance); neither woman seems in any hurry for him to take his leave, so he just...doesn’t. 

Even as the staff come in and out taking vital signs and pressing low on Tessa’s belly (apparently it’s a good thing that they can feel her uterus as a tight ball. What the hell?), or checking for more bleeding, he focuses on the baby and averts his eyes, but he doesn’t take the chance to leave. When a staff member helps Tessa attempt breastfeeding, he just takes a break to get Kate some coffee and grab Tess some food and then takes his place on the couch when he returns. Tessa is flagging but says she’s too wired to sleep yet, so he stays and grabs the things she needs and watches her bond with her baby. 

At one point someone comes in and does an exam on the baby and they once again all chuckle at her sad little cries at being uncovered and disturbed. They wrap the baby up and set her in a little cradle as Kate and one of the staff help Tessa shower. A few minutes into that process Kaela lets out a little whimper and then another. And then she starts to cry. Scott almost picks her up but stops just short. 

Instead he knocks on the bathroom door and asks, “She’s crying. Is it okay if I pick her up?” Even from the otherside of the door, Scott can hear the hitch in Tessa’s voice when she answers, “Yeah. Go ahead.”

He’s ridiculously nervous as he slides his hands under her tiny body and lifts her up to his chest so he can cradle her there. “Hey buddy,” he says, doing his best to keep his voice low and calm. “You’re okay, I promise. Your mama will be back in a minute, I know you miss her.” He dips his head to kiss her forehead and inhales her new baby smell. Tessa isn’t wrong that she smells amazing. Scott is flooded with so much affection for this tiny thing that he can’t help but smile. Her cries quiet as she looks up at him, already figuring out how to follow the sound of voices. 

Scott walks her around the room, rarely looking away and speaks nonsense to her non-stop. 

It’s only a few more moments before Tessa and Kate come back into the room. Scott looks up from Kaela and whispers, “Look. There she is. Told you she’d come back,” and sees the most wistful look on Tessa’s face. He quirks his brows in question as he walks over to her thinking it’s likely time to give the baby back to her mom, which he realizes he’s a bit reluctant to do. 

Tessa shakes her head in response and says, “Can you hold her for a few more minutes while I brush out my hair?”

“Gladly,” he replies, though he stays near. Tessa pulls a brush through her still wet hair, but doesn’t look away from them. 

“She’s amazing, right?” She asks him. 

“Absolutely,” he responds. “And you’re right about how good she smells.”

“I’m already addicted,” she admits. She leans back against the pillow and lets out a tired sigh. 

He holds the baby for a few more minutes until Tessa gets settled and reaches toward him so she can have her baby back. 

Scott settles Kaela in Tessa’s arms and drops one more kiss against her soft hair. Then he shifts and hugs Tessa to him, smiling a little when she lets herself melt into him like she’d done so many times during the day. 

“I’m so proud of you, T,” he tells her as he leans his head against hers. “Excellent work,” he adds, using the words they’ve exchanged a million times over the years. 

“Thank you,” she says, angling her head so she can look at him. “For all of it.”

“Anything, anytime.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, you can find me at boo-writes-stuff on tumblr if you wanna talk about my Tessa/Scott fic.


End file.
